Hello Bizzy Bees!
Happy hump day! We welcome you back and are happy you are here with us today! We hope to give you one more great reason to get bizzy today!
Jessie: In our family, we are leading very busy fun-filled lives with amazing family, awesome friends, rewarding work, and many extras! Along with all the benefits of life in a modern society, comes the stress of functioning within that society.
Denis: So, whether it is driving the kids to school and events, traveling to and from work in a busy city, meeting all your financial obligations, or actually being in a threatening situation like war, or daily conflict, chronic stress is a byproduct and a silent insidious killer of joy in our lives.
Jessie: Sex to the rescue, right!
Denis: Yes, but before we get going, have you ever heard of Bonobos? They are our distant relatives that live in their natural habitat deep within the Congo in central Africa. Bonobos share approximately 99% of our DNA.
Jessie: Why does that matter Denis?
Denis: I am happy you asked Jessie! You see, through the study of Bonobos and how they exist within nature, we are given the gift of insight into ourselves. Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha co-wrote the book Sex at Dawn and really dove into the implications of studies completed on these loving, lesser-known relatives of ours. Here is what Sex at Dawn had to say about how Bonobos ease tension and reduce stress through sex:
“These creatures [Bonobos] travel in mixed groups of males, females, and young…. Individuals come and go between groups, depending on the food supply, connecting a cohesive community of several dozen animals. Here is a primal horde…. Sex is almost a daily pastime…. Females copulate during most of their menstrual cycles—a pattern of coitus more similar to women’s than any other creature’s…. Bonobos engage in sex to ease tension, to stimulate sharing during meals, to reduce stress while traveling, and to reaffirm friendships during anxious reunions. “Make love, not war” is clearly a bonobo theme.”
Jessie: I do not think we are that different. I know from my own experience in life, stress is not good. I have even noticed throughout my life that when I’m highly stressed, I have gotten sick. That is why I like to sleep well every night, work out every day, and eat healthy foods for my body.
Denis: Yes, those are all very important things that help us all stay happy and healthy. As Christopher and Cacida discuss in their book, “Cortisol, the hormone your body releases when under stress, is the strongest immunosuppressant known. In other words, nothing weakens our defenses against disease quite like stress.” A natural, internal antidote for cortisol is an increase in oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine.
Jessie: I know how to drive those hormones up within my body! Meditating, sleeping well, working out, eating a healthy diet, being in the moment, laughing, having fun, and being intimate and having sex!
Denis: When I think of some of the most stressful times in my life, my libido has been through the roof.
Jessie: I know. I was there!!
Denis: Oh yeah! When we choose to be together in that way, I am in the moment (not thinking about anything else), I’m touching and being touched, it is so much fun, and relaxing as we hold each other afterwards. It feels like there is nothing else in the world that matters at that moment. Every problem and all stress melts away as if it never existed in the first place.
Jessie: That is the power of increased oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins pumping through our blood! You know what’s better than sex, though?
Jessie: Make-up sex!
Denis: You are right about that! Sex at Dawn even drives that point home too. “Human sexuality probably evolved and functioned as a social bonding device and a pleasurable way to avoid and neutralize conflict.”
Jessie: So, sex and intimacy helps reduce stress by increasing your stress-reducing hormones and suppressing your stress hormones, helps resolve conflict, and it’s fun! We should be having sex every day!
Denis: Ahh, yes please!
Jessie: Why didn’t you just say that instead of all this talk about monkeys in Africa?
Denis: Good point! I’ll try that next time.
Well, here is to reducing the stress in your life by getting bizzy!
Until next week… Get Bizzy,
Jessie & Denis
Ryan, Christopher, and Cacilda Jethá. Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality. New York: Harper, 2010. Print.
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